It’s that time of year again: the time when nurses are about to collect some of the most useless junk they’ve ever *not* needed in celebration of ‘Nurses Week 2022’, and nurse friends and colleagues are going to start searching around for the best gifts for nurses.
How many sh**ty pens and stale cookies can one nurse stand? Apparently a whole lot. It’s easy to Google: ‘best gifts for nurses’, but it is truly comical just how similar all those lists are, and just how awful.
Which is why we’ve compiled this list of “10 Insanely Useless Gifts You Should Never (Ever) Gift a Nurse,” and some better (more useful) alternatives.
Coming in at Number 10: The Sh**ty Mug That’ll Make You Laugh Once
Who here is in dire need of another novelty coffee mug that’ll make you laugh once, and end up lost in the back of your cupboard, or at the bottom of your trash can when it breaks after the first use?
We know we are! Said no-one ever. But here you go: the “Funny Nurse Coffee Mug” that (according to Amazon) is a “Great Gift Idea For Nurse, Doctor, CNA, RN, Psych, Tech, EMT, EMS, Paramedic”.
*Insert eye roll.*
But check out these “5-Star” reviews….
“The mug is as funny in person as it seemed to be online, and it holds liquid and all that so YEAH, five stars!”
Broken Options Available!
“Arrived broken, not well packaged.”
Number 9: A Gorgeous Leaky GLASS
If you’ve ever needed an overpriced, gorgeous glass water bottle that for sure won’t break the first time you drop it (insert sarcasm), then meet the Glacce Crystal Elixir Water Bottle made by Free People. Apparently in addition to overpriced clothing – they now make matching water bottles.
But hey, don’t take it from us. The reviews speak for themselves:
Only Good for Decoration
“It started leaking. Completely disappointed that all it is good for is decoration.”
Perhaps Plastic Would Have Been a Better Option
“After having it for about 3 days I had the sleeve on and it barely fell off a table and SHATTERED. GLASS EVERYWHERE.”
Better Choice: Try an infusion water bottle. Made out of durable plastic and able to infuse with a fruit (or vegetable) of the user’s choice.
If you’re looking to remind any nurse in your life that you’re absolutely, to the core: BASIC. Then get them this cheap wooden sign with a quote we’ve all heard 24,578 times: “Not all superheroes wear capes. Some wear scrubs.” Oh really Karen, is that so? Thanks so much for digging deep into your pockets for that one.
Here’s what some folks had to say about his product:
A True Show of Appreciation?
“I gave this as a gift to a nurse friend that was working very hard during this pandemic.”
Nothing Says “Work for Me” Like a 4” $9.99 Sign
“I bought this to decorate my table at a nurse hiring event. I know it will speak volumes about the kind of hospital we are.”
Better Choice: If it’s the thought that counts, get your fellow nurse a box of her favorite gel pens, in black.
Both literally and figuratively – nothing says: I know nothing about medicine more than this “heart rhythm” necklace of a patient that is in obvious distress. Add to that the thin design and cheap quality – something he or she will never wear, not even once.
Reviews speak for themselves:
If You Know. You Know.
“I’m a nurse and I won’t buy this as a gift for someone who works in the medical field. If you are looking for a normal heart rhythm necklace this isn’t it, if you know what I mean.”
“If you’re really a nurse you’d be embarrassed to wear this necklace because it’s a really bad heart rhythm.”
Better Choice: If you’re looking to really show you understand #nureslife: try a silver, ring-holder necklace. Practical. Solid. Beautiful.
Number 6: Speaking of Cheap Necklaces
For the grand total of $10.99 you can show off how cheap you really are with this monogram necklace that is sure to break upon first glance, or better yet, arrive broken in the box.
When it Arrives Broken
“Very pretty. However, it tangles easily and was broken upon arrival… never wore it .. don’t be like me… spend the money for better quality.”
Nurse Gifts Gone Bad
“One part looks like it broke and they just pushed it back together. Was supposed to be a Christmas gift.”
Number 5: Let’s Start a Fight: Fanny Pack Edition
If you’re looking to give a gift that is sure to keep on giving: make sure to gift your fellow nurse with the Vaccinated because…Science, fanny pack. Once worn, the arguments are guaranteed to ensue.
Better Choice: The Fanny Pack They’ll Actually Use
Number 4: Hey Girl: I Just Wasted Some Money
Nothing says: I care, like a gift you can pick up at any 7-Eleven. If that’s your intent, then boy, do we ever have the perfect gift option for yah: “sleepy-time” tea-bags wrapped in fancy packaging.
But don’t listen to us, just listen to these reviews…
Reminds me of Grandma
“This tea tastes like a piece of old Christmas candy your grandma found at the bottom of her pocketbook. I think it’s the turmeric?! It’s awful!!! I am also very disappointed that you only get 18 bags of tea for $20!”
“I couldn’t tell the difference between this and any other store bought tea, except for the higher price.”
Better Choice: If you’re trying to communicate that you “get it” when it comes to getting a good night’s sleep and want to bypass how cheap it would look to give someone a box of Celestial Seasonings, try this sleep mask with over 66,000 reviews on Amazon.
If you’re looking to give a gift that says: I saw this while running my daily errands and thought of you, then Tiger Balm is where it’s at. Is it handy? Yes. Is it necessary? Yes. Does it work? Yes. Will s/he be glad to have some? Likely they already do. Being a nurse and all.
Better Choice: With over 47,000 reviews & for just $65….
Number 2: Felt Badge Clips
Because nothing says I understand the day in the life of a nurse like a FELT badge clip. One “code brown” and your gift will become someone else’s mess. Cute. But practical?
Number 1: The “If You’re Looking to Creep Everyone The Hell Out” Gift
Nothing says, I’m either (a) one creepy dude or (b) completely out of touch with #nurselife, then to gift a fellow nurse with lingerie – even if it’s a unique lingerie subscription. Nurses aren’t looking to “feel sexy” underneath their scrubs for a long 12+ hour shift. They’re looking to be comfortable AF.
Better Option: All RNs are going to have their favorite and not so favorite pair of scrubs – so if they don’t already have a pair of these already, you might want to gift them with an RN reviewed brand – that has been voted “most comfortable” pair of scrubs to own: The Grey’s Anatomy Barco Brand Scrubs
Did we miss any insanely useless gifts for nurses?
We could probably go on forever about “bad” nurse gifts. What’s the worst gift you’ve ever received? The best?
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